For a day without pain, without regret, without fear.
For the day when I am no longer isolated within in my own mind.
For that day when my war has been won.
I sulk. I sit. I wait.
I hope to one day greet this day, for my bleeding heart yearns for this reunion.
The day has still yet to show, and my strength is growing thin.
I sulk. I sit. I wait.
This hope I still hold looks an awful lot like fear.
When will this day come?
For it looks like that day to never come.
I sulk. I sit. I wait.
For I realize that day is not too far away.
To be honest this isn't my favorite of your pieces. You have a great idea but instead of real images you stick to vague concepts, like fear, pain, and strength. Those are great concepts to base a work around but you need to do more showing and less telling. Instead of telling the reader how to feel, paint the picture with details and tangible imagery that can make them feel the pain or fear themselves. But the overall concept is really beautiful and with more imagery it has the potential to be something wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThis feels like you wrote it directly out of my own mind.
ReplyDelete