I know a Girl

I know a girl,

with pain in her eyes

and sorrow in her soul

and regret in every fiber of her being.

I know a girl,

a very lovely girl

who hides much beneath

and no one ever notices.

I know a girl

with a shattered smile

with melancholy laughter on her lips

with scars on her soft, impressionable wrists

with doubt plastered upon her flawless brow.

I know a girl

who is “okay”

who is “fine”

who is just tired of this life.

I know a girl who is broken.

I love this girl who is falling apart. 

I know a girl I want to fix.

A Requiem

You bleed waning passion.

We watch it escape every crevasse,

Every pour,

Every crack in your flesh.

You grow hope in your garden of denial.

We watch them bloom into their demise,

As you have no water to sanctify them.

You sleep with cozening shadows.

We watch your every breathe;

With every inhale you let in your demons,

With every exhale you sink deeper in your quietus.

You smile with fear beneath your teeth.

We watch you force every grin,

As you lean to kiss your fear instead of me.

You shuffle off this mortal coil.

We watch you flee with a bullet,

As you give up the ghost and set your soul to eternal rest.

You lay on the lamenting floor.

We stare in dismay at your lifeless body,

I mutter your requiem,

As it shares a melody with the silence.

Mori Art Ti

To die was an art,
So let me paint.

It's Funny, Isn't It?

It's funny isn't it

How effortlessly one can take a blade

Run it across their skin

Puncture the very thing that keeps them whole

Over and over again 

Until all pain is gone

  Until all the blood is drained

               Until they are numb

                             Until the next time.

It's funny how such a simple action can become

         a dangerous addition

                     A ravenous craving

    An unconscious compulsion;

                                                                                                                 An addiction not easily overcome.

It's funny how such a simple act on oneself can hurt so many others

Cause so much pain to their friends

                To their boyfriend or girlfriend

                                                                                To their family.

It's funny how all of the pain it releases is brought back

not long afterwards.

Funny isn't it.

But I ask,

Is all of this worth it?

They say no.

I say…

I'm sorry.

Oh, Precious Pain

Oh, precious pain,

How you force me down with your everlasting chain.

How I never cease to try to escape your grasp in vain.

How I find your allure ironically addictive;  ‘tis only you I hope to gain.

Oh, precious pain,
How you are surely my bane.

How you will forever be my biggest blood-red stain.

How you are the cause for my lesser hope, ‘tis now on the wane.

How you have surely driven me insane.

Oh, precious pain,

How I beseech you to rid me from my mortal duties, do not refrain.

Just promptly carry me to His anodyne domain.

Oh, precious pain.

What do you dream about at night?

What do you dream about at night when you’re all alone in your bed?

All alone at night.

Do you dream about dreaming,

Only reaching for success within the depths of your sheltered hallucinations?

The hallucinations never end.

Do you dream about death,

Only to be disillusioned when you awaken every morning?

Sleep serves merely as your temporary demise.

Do you dream about love lost,

Only to become disheartened when you can’t even find it in that black hole you call your mind.

Love will never find you.

Or do you just never dream at all?

Because that would simply be the worst of all.

What do you dream about at night?

That Feeling...

That feeling of wanting despite not needing;

That feeling of endless, agonizing pain despite efforts to heal;

That feeling of pure emptiness despite being physically whole;

That feeling of loneliness despite being surrounded by others;

That feeling  of shame despite no one knowing what you’ve done to yourself;

That feeling of hopelessness despite knowing it will get better;

That feeling of weakness despite the eternal  determination;

That feeling of uncertainty despite knowing exactly what’s wrong;

That feeling that's illogically logical. 

Bleeding

Tears rain down, staining my shirt a crimson red.

Like a waterfall of agony, it drowns me.

I lay silently, suffering in my bed.

The tears won’t clot, I’m lost in my ruby sea.

Each burgundy tear slides down my pale frame,

Causing my skins subtle twitching.

Trapped In My Addiction

Hope has found me but I won’t let it in.

I’ve shut my windows and locked my doors.

I’ve trapped myself in my own mind, no escape.

And now I’m running out of air.

I hold my breath,

I like the darkness.

Addicted To The Sadness

Addicted to the sadness,

I am chasing the darkness

As the silence screams.

In search of precious pain,

My beaten heart thirsts to gain

failure.

Lost in my own misery,

I have forgotten how senseless death, 

How precious life.

You fail to see my passion snapping,

As I smile at your command.

Dead inside already,

I am empty and unsteady.

You see what I show,

But no one shall really know

What thoughts I conceive,

Nor what feelings I possess.

For if you really knew,

You’d be in tears.