I sulk. I sit. I wait.

I sulk. I sit. I wait.

For a day without pain, without regret, without  fear.

For the day when I am no longer isolated within in my own mind.

For that day when my war has been won.

I sulk. I sit. I wait. 

I hope to one day greet this day, for my bleeding heart yearns for this reunion.

The day has still yet to show, and my strength is growing thin.

I sulk. I sit. I wait.

This hope I still hold looks an awful lot like fear. 

                                        When will this day come?

For it looks like that day to never come.

I sulk. I sit. I wait.

For I realize that day is not too far away. 

Oh, Precious Pain

Oh, precious pain,

How you force me down with your everlasting chain.

How I never cease to try to escape your grasp in vain.

How I find your allure ironically addictive;  ‘tis only you I hope to gain.

Oh, precious pain,
How you are surely my bane.

How you will forever be my biggest blood-red stain.

How you are the cause for my lesser hope, ‘tis now on the wane.

How you have surely driven me insane.

Oh, precious pain,

How I beseech you to rid me from my mortal duties, do not refrain.

Just promptly carry me to His anodyne domain.

Oh, precious pain.

That Feeling...

That feeling of wanting despite not needing;

That feeling of endless, agonizing pain despite efforts to heal;

That feeling of pure emptiness despite being physically whole;

That feeling of loneliness despite being surrounded by others;

That feeling  of shame despite no one knowing what you’ve done to yourself;

That feeling of hopelessness despite knowing it will get better;

That feeling of weakness despite the eternal  determination;

That feeling of uncertainty despite knowing exactly what’s wrong;

That feeling that's illogically logical. 

Bleeding

Tears rain down, staining my shirt a crimson red.

Like a waterfall of agony, it drowns me.

I lay silently, suffering in my bed.

The tears won’t clot, I’m lost in my ruby sea.

Each burgundy tear slides down my pale frame,

Causing my skins subtle twitching.

Unwanted Hope

Through the darkness I search for a flicker.

In the distance, I see a faint sliver of light.

I turn around.

Trapped In My Addiction

Hope has found me but I won’t let it in.

I’ve shut my windows and locked my doors.

I’ve trapped myself in my own mind, no escape.

And now I’m running out of air.

I hold my breath,

I like the darkness.

What Cure's The Pain

I conform to my norm,

With my diet of sadness and pain,

My blood and my blade.

I’ve become addicted to this,

My never ending cycle

of tears and shame.

They gave me pills for a cure;

I am incurable.

But within this misery,

I found a sliver of reality.

I want to end this agony.

I silently cry for a savior,

Yet I linger alone in my melancholy  torture.

Engulfed I thus become,

In this virulent game.

My new best friend,

Now my miniature scythe.

Where is the reaper now?

I’m done with these drugs.